Pop Quiz

Why is it that I can't sleep on the night that my child has slept for four consecutive hours without a peep?

a.) I've stayed up too late watching Mystery Diagnosis and I've now convinced myself that I or someone I love has an array of strange diseases.

b.) My husband is out of town and I have a hard time sleeping without him.

c.) I'm worried about getting my hair cut tomorrow.

d.) Lola is snoring and driving me absolutely crazy.

e.) All of the above.

If you guessed All of the above, you were right. Send me your address so I can send you some cookies.

First, let me update you and say that Aeralyn is perfectly fine. Her fever broke on Tuesday and she has been back to her normal, happy self. Thank goodness. She is quite the pitiful little girl when she is not feeling well.

I'm going to get my hair cut tomorrow for the first time in a long time. I mean really cut, not just trimmed. I've been growing my hair out for a while now, and I am so over it that I could puke. It's dry and dull and boring. And there is just way too much of it, so off it goes tomorrow. In my perfect world, I would get it all cut off in a cute little bob or some other easy to manage short hairstyle, but of course, this is not my perfect world. You see, I have enough hair on my head for three people, maybe four. It is also indecisive about whether or not it wants to be straight or wavy, so it usually resides in a state of constant frizziness. Not ideal hair for short styles. Which means I have to stick with medium to long hairstyles with a lot of layers to thin out my hair.

I have a history of never being satisfied with my hair. I've never once gotten a haircut and said "I LOVE it!". Never. There is always something wrong with it. A little too short here, a little too poofy there, you name it. I think that is mostly because I never go in with something specific in mind to tell the stylist. But this time, I'm going to try and do it differently. I've got it pretty narrowed down to what I want, but not too specific to where the stylist doesn't have any creative leeway. Although, I don't want her to be too creative and end up giving me a mullett or something worse. Wait, is there anything worse than a mullett? I don't know, ask me tomorrow and I'll probably say that the current hair on my head is worse than a mullett.

No, NO! I'm going to think positive. It's just hair for God sakes. It will grow back. It's just, for once, would it be too much to ask to get a haircut that I love? One that puts a smile on my face and makes me feel super confident instead of bringing me close to tears because "LOOK AT MY BANGS! They're AWFUL!"

Now, since I know all of you have all the time in the world and would love to help me on such short notice, I'm going to ask you a favor. Does anyone have a picture of any hairstyles that they think would look cute on me? Anyone out there? Remember, I have a round face with chubby (ok, fat) cheeks, and my hair is super thick so I don't think I can go much shorter than collar bone length. I know I want side bangs, but other than that I'm not too sure. I'm going to be Googling hairstyle ideas to see what I can find, but if you find anything for me, please share!

Now, who wants to bet that Aaron won't notice my new hair when he gets home tomorrow evening?

Sleep

Today, Aeralyn and I took a little trip. To the mall that is. All by ourselves. And everyone in the land applauded because this was the very first trip to the mall that we made together all by ourselves. And it only took ten short months! Oh sure, I've been to the mall in the past ten months, and so has Aeralyn. We've both also been there at the same time as one another, but with reinforcements known as either Gammie or Daddy.

But, today called for something a little different considering that Gammie had surgery on Monday and isn't quite up for mall shopping. And daddy has this annoying habit of working on the weekdays, so we had to go alone. Surprisingly, everything went perfect. No major catastrophes, and I actually got what I went for without spending 10 trillion extra dollars on cute clothes, etc. Astonishing.



We took that trip this morning because I was on a mission. A mission to finally get some sleep, that is. And what could I possibly buy at the mall to help me get some sleep? A lovely book called The way to get your spoiled rotten child who wakes up every two hours at night to sleep through the night without screaming her head off The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.

I've been doing some research, and I've found alot of great reviews on this book. And I'm desperate. I was so excited about getting this book that I had to keep it in the trunk on the way home to keep myself from reading it while I was driving. You're welcome.

I know some of you are really surprised that my ten month old child is not even close to sleeping through the night. Then again, some of you may be reading this and saying "Thank GOD I'm not the only one." Aeralyn has never slept through the night. Not one time in her little ten month life. Consequently, this means that I haven't slept through the night in even longer than that considering I didn't sleep hardly at all through the entire last trimester of my pregnancy. I've tried to remedy this situation. Oh, have I tried! But nothing has helped yet. I've tried the "cry it out" method, and that did not work for us. At. All. And I will never try it again. If it's worked for you, I am so happy, but it is definitely not for me. That is why the title of this book really drew me in. So far, I am excited about everything I've read, except for the part where she says I need to be on a schedule.

Crap.

I'm not a schedule person. I never do anything at the same time every day, so that means Aeralyn doesn't either. And now I totally see that that may be her problem. So I'm going to give it all a try. I'm going to start tonight with her suggestions and I will see how it goes. She recommends keeping a log of Aeralyn's night wakings, so I may post them here with the risk of boring you all completely to death. But atleast I'll have them saved so I can look back at them.

Wish me luck!

A small update.

I've had so much that I've wanted to post about and tell you guys, but I just haven't had the time to post. Well, it's not that I haven't had the time, I just haven't made the time. I've been enjoying my summer. How about you?

Okay, since I know all of you have been sitting on pins and needles wondering what is going on with my heel, I'll go ahead and tell you. Nothing. Nothing at all is going on with it because I'm too chicken to go and get the x-ray that the podiatrist ordered. You see, when it comes to things that I don't want to deal with, I use the practice of avoidance. I pretend like there is no problem at all and just go about my merry way. Picture me with my fingers in my ears, eyes closed yelling "LALALALALALALALA!" I'm avoiding the problem, and just so you know, this tactic is not really working out for me. Wednesday night, I closed the back door on my heel, again. Yes, on the same heel. And this time? It hurt so bad that I said a bad word in front of my father-in-law. And I came thisclose to laying on the floor and crying like a little baby. Yes, I'm going to get the x-ray.....eventually. And I'll let you all know what happens when I do.

Moving on.

Do y'all know Beverly? If you don't, I want to encourage you to go read her blog. I dare you to read it and not be inspired by the story of her amazing son, Steven. Beverly is having a fundraiser soon to help find a cure for Von Hipple-Lindau, the disease that Steven has. Von Hipple-Lindau is also the disease that my mother had, so this is very near and dear to my heart. Please go and read her blog and see if there is any way you can help find a cure for this disease.

And that's all I have time for since Aeralyn just decided to wake up from one of her infamous 15 minute naps.

I got hit on today...

by a state prisoner who was doing road work detail in my neighborhood. Wow, I feel so hot today.

Clumsy

A little over a month ago, I had an accident. I know, you're shocked that I didn't tell you, but I didn't think it was a big deal. I really didn't, I promise.

Let me start at the beginning.

I am extremely clutzy. I know you're probably sitting there thinking "Me too!", but I can guarantee you that I am about three thousand times more clumsy than you are. I've gotten so bad that when I yell "OUCH!" from whatever part of the house I'm in, Aaron doesn't even blink an eye or come running or anything. His usual response is to say in an exasperated tone "What happened now?"

I know, he is super awesome. And all mine. YAY!

Ahem. So, like I was saying, a little over a month ago I had an accident. I was aggravated with Aaron over something that I can't even remember now, and I was arguing with him at the back door. I turned to walk back in the house, and my plan was to slam the door. You know, so he would know how mad I was. (I know, childish, but it gets the point across and makes me feel better). Anyway, as I was walking in, my foot somehow got hung up on the rug, and I ended up slamming the door on my heel. And it hurt. Really bad. I iced it, washed it off and put a bandaid on it and really didn't think much more about it.

Then, about four days later, I put my tennis shoe on to go to the gym. My heel was so swollen that it was too uncomfortable to wear my shoe, so I decided I would give it more time before I tried to wear a shoe with a back on it. And now, here I am with a heel that is still swollen and I have no idea why.

I went to the doctor over a week ago, and she made me a referal to a podiatrist. I will be going to that appointment next week. Oh boy! I can't wait to see what the foot fetish doctor has to say. Yes, that's right, the foot fetish doctor. Why else would you want to work with feet all day? That's what I thought.

Thank goodness it's warm and I've been able to wear flip flops. But this also means that I haven't been able to go to the gym in over a month because I can't get my workout shoes on. I'm actually missing it too. So, hopefully this foot thing will be resolved soon. Anyone have any advice?

Some Things I've Learned Lately

♦ I've learned that when deli cut turkey goes bad, it grows pink mold. Hot pink as a matter of fact. Yes people, it is time to clean the refrigerator again. Don't ever say I didn't teach you anything.

♦ I've learned that I should have cherished those days not so long ago when I could put Aeralyn on the floor to play with her toys. Quietly. In one spot. Now, she is all over the place chewing on power cords and pulling up on the entertainment center trying to pull the DVD player on her head. Over, and over, and over again. Oh dear GOD, it has begun. Please send help. And sleeping pills.

♦ I've learned that I can make a detailed list to take with me to Wal-Mart, and once I get there? Still manange to forget the most important things on that list. Such as toilet paper. And bread. And diapers. What can I say? I'm easily distracted.

♦ I've learned that mine and Aaron's tentative decision to maybe have only one child is most assuredly the worst idea we've ever had. By deciding to keep Aeralyn an only child we are damning her to a life of boredom and dismay. She will never learn to share, and she will think the world revolves around her, only to be terribly dissappointed when she gets thrown into the "real world". Also, we won't be real parents until we have more than one child. *rolls eyes*

♦ I've learned that tonights episode of Grey's Anatomy is a new one. Can I get an Amen?

♦ I've learned that this shampoo and conditioner combined with the use of this straightener equals the most awesome hair ever to grace my head, thankyouverymuch.

Now, that's all the useless knowledge I have for you today. I have to get ready to take the truck in to the dealership to be serviced. YAY! Actually, that is a totally real and non-sarcastic exclamation of pure joy because I get to go on this particular outing sans baby. And, I'm going to take my very own magazine from home that I've been dying to flip through. I'll actually get to read it without anyone ripping the pages out, crying because I'm not singing the ABC's again for the millionth time, or distracting me by trying to eat the curtains. Hallelujah!

Please send the sleep fairies.

I'm not doing so well with my reslolution to blog more this year. Oh? You've noticed? Sorry about that.

I'm going to take a moment and be real and completely honest with you here. Things have not been easy around our household lately. Aeralyn has decided that sleep is her enemy, and she fights it with every fiber of her being day and night. Now, most of you know that she's never been a good sleeper, even from day one. I read so many books about how newborns sleep up to 18 hours per day and how you, the new mother, should sleep when the baby sleeps to get your rest.

Well, guess what? Aeralyn must have heard that they were saying that nonsense about babies, and she decided that she was sent here to this world for the sole purpose of proving them wrong. And oh boy, is she doing a great job of proving those jerks wrong.

She's always been a big fan of the "cat-nap". After fighting sleep for 20 mins to a half hour, she will finally give in and crash. Then, she wakes up 15 to 30 minutes later refreshed and ready to go for a few more hours. I rarely get the luxury of her taking an hour long or longer nap so that I can relax for a few minutes and get things done around the house. And when I say rarely, I mean maybe once a month if I'm lucky. Instead, I have learned to do things at lightening fast speed. During a 15 minute cat-nap, I can empty the dryer, put the clothes from the washer into the dryer and start another load, unload and re-load the dishwasher, take a potty break, fold the clothes from the dryer, eat lunch, sweep the kitchen, and put up a Tatertot Tuesday post.

I've just accepted this as our way of life, and it's really not that big of a deal. She has always slept pretty good at night, in my opinion anyway. I know I've gotten many a weird look when I get the question "Is she sleeping through the night?" and I say "no". I hear stories of babies that slept through the night at a month old, never to make a peep until 8am. That sounds fantastic, but that's not Aeralyn. She is 7 months old and has never, not once, slept through the night.

Her pediatrician told me at her 4 month check up that she should be sleeping through the night by now. When I met his statement with silence, he said "She is sleeping through the night, isn't she?".

"No, not yet. But it's not that big of a deal."

And it's not that big of a deal. It's not like I'm walking the hallway of my house at 2am with a screaming baby for hours on end every night. That's actually only happened one time since she has been born, so I think I'm getting pretty lucky on that deal. But she does wake up several times a night, and the only way to get her back to sleep is to nurse her.

On a normal night, she will go to bed between 8:30pm and 9:30pm in her crib, she will sleep until 12:30am - 1:30am, and I will go get her and bring her to bed with us. I'll nurse her back to sleep, and then she will usually wake up 1-2 more times to eat, and that's it. I was thinking that was pretty good, even though I know she really should be sleeping through the night by now.

But this past 3 weeks has been a comepletely different story. She has went to bed in her crib at her usual time, only to wake up 30 minutes to an hour later. Then for the rest of the night, she is up atleast every hour, sometimes every half hour.

Every. Single. Night.

I'm more exhausted now than I was when we first brought her home from the hospital. And the worst part is, I think I've created this monster. She's not hungry in the middle of the night, she is only nursing for comfort. And I've let her do it. And now? I don't know how to stop it.

I am seriously at my wits end. I'm so tired, and so incredibly grouchy. I'm pretty sure no one wants to be around me right now because I have bitten the heads clean off of every one I know. My house is a wreck and I have had almost no "me" time. I think that last part is what is really getting to me. I have blogs piled up in my Google Reader from these past weeks that I haven't had any time to read. And obviously, I haven't commented much either. I'm sorry about that, and I promise I still love you. I just really don't have the time right now.

And I'm sure you can guess how the Healthy Living is going....

So, if you don't hear from me for a while, you'll know why. We've got to make some major changes around here. And if you're sitting there with some advice, I'd love to hear it. Especially if it's something other than putting cereal in her bottle (tried it a long time ago, didn't work, and now she will NOT take a bottle), or letting her cry for hours on end (I'm physically unable to ignore her crys). Or, if you don't have any advice, that's okay too. I just need to know that we're going to get through this. Please tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel.

Avoidance

You may have noticed that I didn't give you an update on Healthy Living on Friday. Well, that's because I did terribly last week, and on Friday when I weighed in I hadn't lost any weight. I weighed in again this morning, and I gained back two pounds.

It's my fault totally, so I can't be mad at anyone other than myself. But, once again, it's a new week. I'm getting ready to take Aeralyn for a walk now to the post office since it is so nice outside. Sorry I don't have anything for you right now. I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Healthy Conversation

This is what you would have heard if you would have been in my kitchen yesterday afternoon:

Him: What the heck is this crap?

Me: What crap?

Him: This health crap! *gestures wildly towards the counter where the bread is*

Me: uh, I'm assuming you're talking about the wheat bread?

Him: Yeah! And the sliced cheese made from skim milk, and the fat free mayonnaise, and the fat free BUTTER!! Who ever heard of fat. Free. BUTTER??!!

Me: :::::crickets::::::

Him: Whatever happened to just buying normal food from the grocery store? Since when are we health freaks?

Me: Since we have both gained about 100lbs between us since we graduated high school 5 years ago.

Him: :::::crickets::::::

Me: God forbid we try to be healthy. *rolls eyes*

Him: I just want to be fat and happy. Why can't you just let me be fat and happy? *pouty face*

Clean House

**Updated 11:30am**
**Updated again at 12:44pm**
**Updated again at 2:51pm**
**Updated again at 7:00pm** Holy poop is it really 7pm already??!! I hate this time change! I guess this will be the last update for the evening because it's time to get Aeralyn ready for bed.



Hi my name is Heather. I have an aversion to cleaning my house.

*Hi Heather.*

It all started when I was just a wee little girl and my dad would make me clean up my room, and the problem just continued to grow from there. Now, I have an excuse not to have an immaculate house because I have a baby that keeps me too busy so I can't clean. Somtimes this is completely true because we either have one of those days where she will not let me put her down long enough to even go to the bathroom fortheloveofGOD! Or sometimes we have days where we just get so into playing and reading books and taking pictures that the housework is forgotten. But then there are other days, like today, where I just flat out don't want to do it, so I spend Aeralyn's nap time writing a blog entry and surfing the internet.

But soon, the aforementioned baby will be on the move. And that means that I will be forced to clean my house all the time because I have a feeling that spare change, dryer lint, and cat hair (yes we still have cat hair even though the cat has been outside for months now), would be lovely little treasures for her to find and promptly put in her mouth. I'm pretty sure if I let that happen, I would be the worst mother that ever walked planet Earth, and I'm not ready for that title just yet. Maybe when she's a teenager, but I've still got a long ways to go before that happens.

The best way for me to get things accomplished around here is to put it on paper and mark it off as I go along. Although, I have been known to just say to hell with everything and throw out the list and forget about it until another day, so this is where you come in. I'm going to post my to do list right here, right now, and as I complete my tasks today, I'm going to come back here and update the list. This will work out much better because then all of you will know whether or not I did what I said I was going to do today, and I don't want to run the risk of disappointing the entire internet by failing. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

List of the competely disgusting and/or daunting variety:

1.) Take a shower. (yes, this has to actually be put on a list because it may or may not get done today) (don't you want to come over for a visit?) Yay! Now you can all come over for a visit and you won't have to smell me!
2.) Unload and re-load the dishwasher.
3.) Gather up trash from all rooms.
4.) Fold laundry that has piled up for two days.
5.)Wash and fold laundry that has piled up for God knows how long. 2 Loads down, 70,000 to go!
6.) Go to the grocery store. A three hour trip to 2 groceries stores. Ugh that totally threw off my day.
7.) Vacuum.
8.) Straighten up living room.

I think that souds like a good list for today. Check back for updates!

Discovery!

This morning we went for a walk. I put Aeralyn in a short-sleeved/shorts outfit because it is absolutely BEAUTFIUL outside. The high today is 76 degrees and we have a nice light breeze...perfect outdoor weather. Are you jealous? Don't be for long because tomorrow we have an 80% chance of rain/severe thunderstorms. Oh joy!

Anyway, while we were getting ready for our walk, I remembered that I bought Lola a new harness a while back, and I've never used it. I started looking for it, and you will never guess what I found. Not the harness..oh no, not that. It has gone into the black hole I'm sure. NOT even the keys to the truck that we have been looking for.

Are you done guessing now?

I found the present that I bought Alicia OVER A MONTH AND A HALF AGO!!! I never sent it to her and I completely forgot about it! It's a good thing it isn't anything super important, or I'd feel like an even bigger jack-ass.

I PROMISE that I will get it out THIS WEEK! I swear.

I'm terrible at forgetting things. Aaron's birthday is on Christmas day, so I bought him a Christmas card from me, a birthday card from me and Aeralyn, and a Christmas card from Aeralyn. I completely forgot to give them to him, and I didn't even remember until I was giving him his cards for Valentine's day. So, I gave him his Christmas cards on Valentine's day. Almost 2 months later. I am awesome.

About a week ago I also found the cards I bought for my sister and nephew's birthdays back in January. I think I'll just save those for next year!

Is it just me, or are any of you like this too? Please tell me you are to some degree, even if it's just to make me feel better.

Update

We are back from the eye doctor, and Aaron survived the poking and prodding. He has had an allergic reaction to something that he got in his eye (possibly sawdust), and now it has become infected. We are home now with 2 bottles of eye drops that would have cost us over $160, but thankfully the Optometrist was kind enough to give him sample bottles. He has to go back on Thursday just to make sure everything is cleared up.

We also have the key to the truck. It is currently attatched to an enormous keychain with the hopes that it won't get lost. I have my doubts because this house seems to have a black hole where keys, socks*, flashlights, and screwdrivers all go.

Aeralyn will be going to the doctor in the morning because the Tylenol Cold and Cough is no longer helping much with the cough, and I think I may have heard a faint rumble of congestion in her chest. Better safe than sorry, or something like that.

Now, you should all go roll in some cuteness that goes by the names of Lilly and Suki.

*Thank goodness I proofread this because instead of socks, it would have read socks with the first "s" replaced with a "c", and then you all would have thought I was a little strange.

Sickness

Right now you should be thanking your lucky little stars that germs don't transfer through the computer. Because, I can assure you, if they could they would be jumping right off of the screen, into your eyes, and stuffing up your little heads and noses. That's how germs roll. Right now I've got a set of them in my throat going to town with sandpaper on my tonsils, and another group in my sinuses pounding them with jack-hammers. I shared those two groups with Aaron, and he managed to pick up an entirely different set on his own that have promptly socked him in the right eye and made it all red and swollen shut.

Oh, the joy.

Aeralyn has a little bit of a stuffy nose and some drainage that is making her cough occasionally when she's laying down. Thankfully she seems to be doing better than Aaron and I. In fact, she was doing pretty darn great this morning at 2:15am when she decided that it was playtime. Her and I were up until 5am this morning, her laughing and babbling, me on the verge of tears because "It's sleepy time! Come on sweet pea, let's go to sleepy town...please. Mommy's head hurts and she can't breathe."

I finally took her to bed with me at 5am and she went to sleep. But not without a fight.

On top of being sick all weekend, Aaron decided that it would be a good idea to lock the keys in the truck yesterday afternoon. No big deal right? Except, we couldn't find the spare key...anywhere! So now we have to go to the dealership today to get a new one. We are going there right after Aaron goes to the eye doctor to figure out exactly what the heck is wrong with his eye.

Monday, you better watch out because I am so going to get you back.

Couldn't we all just wear dentures instead?

Once again I am being bothered by teeth. Except this time, it's not my teeth, it's Aeralyn's. Or atleast that is what I'm assuming considering my usually happy, giggly baby has turned into a screaming devil of a baby.

Last night we were up crying every hour on the hour. Yes, I meant both of us incase you were wondering. And it's almost 2pm, and she is just now taking her first nap of the day. I checked her temperature earlier and it was 100.1. Well, that is pretty much a fever as far as I'm concerned, so I called the pediatrician's office.

Me: "Yes, my 5 month old daughter is running a low grade fever and she has been really fussy all day. I gave her a dose of Tylenol, but I wanted to call and see if there is anything else I need to do."

Nurse: "What is the baby's fever?"

Me: "It's 100.1"

Nurse: "M'am, we don't consider that a fever."

::::::::crickets:::::::::

Me: "Well, could you please tell me what you consider a fever so that I will know when to be worried? I'm a first time mom, so I'm not really sure about all this stuff."

Nurse: "Ummm, give us a call back if it gets above 101. You can give her some Tylenol cold and cough if you want to."

Me: "She's doesn't have any cold symptoms, just a fever and crakiness..."

Nurse: "She's probably teething."

Did I mention anything about cold symptoms in that conversation anywhere? No? I didn't think so.

I'm not sure if she's actually teething, but it sounds like a pretty good explanation for the fever, crankiness, and biting that has been going on lately. I'm really not looking forward to the teeth at all. She already bites me on a daily basis, and it hurts bad enough now that I don't even want to think about adding teeth to this issue.

Word to the wise: Don't bite the boob that feeds you.

So, y'all please be thinking about us over here. And pray that the teeth come in quickly so that my poor baby will feel better soon. Also, please pray for my nipples. I'm pretty attached to them, so I'd like to keep them pain free and intact.

Another example of how I am learning Self Control.

Lola got her wish.

I promise there is a point at the end of all the rambling.

Today is Friday, which means that it is time for my Friday weigh in. I'm still at a 6lb loss, but let me assure you that that is nothing short of a miracle considering the enormous amounts of food I've been consuming here lately. And also, I may as well be flushing fourty dollars a month down the toilet instead of sending it to my local YMCA.

This is much harder than I expected. I've tried diets before, and they've never worked. But the reason for that was because I would finally decide that I wasn't all that unhappy with my body, so I would just stop worrying about it. But this time, I am definitely not happy with my body. I am uncomfortable in my own skin, I despise shopping for clothes, I can't keep my jeans from falling down because my waistline is just as wide as my hips, and I avoid mirrors because I can't stand to look at my double chin. I also avoid cameras, so there are probably a total of 5 pictures of Aeralyn and I together since she has been born. And summer is right around the corner, which means I will be forced to wear short sleeved shirts that display my flabby, un-toned arms. And once again, I will be sweating to death because I refuse to wear shorts. I haven't put a pair of shorts on my body to wear out in public since the summer before I started college. That has been five years ago. And I don't think I need to remind you that it is HOT around here people. But I'm doing it for you, all of you, so you won't have to look at my flabby thighs. So really, you should be grateful to me for that.

Last night I actually had a nightmare about shopping for a swim suit. I have come to the conclusion that I will not be able to wear a bikini this year. In fact, I might never be able to wear one again, but I am okay with that. The only problem is that I'm not even looking forward to wearing a swim suit period. It wouldn't be so bad if I could just wear one in the comfort of my own backyard while taking Aeralyn swimming in the pool. I can handle that. What I cannot handle is wearing one in front of all of my in laws when we go out in the boat several times over the summer. I could just not go, but that's not fair to Aeralyn because I know she will enjoy it.

And I'm becoming a little bitter about the whole issue too. I had to stop myself from screaming at someone (who will remain nameless because it's not fair to call her out on here): "WELL I WILL TRY NOT TO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP TONIGHT FOR ALL YOUR TERRIBLE PROBLEMS!!" all because she told me of her dillemma of buying the smallest pair of shorts that a certain store had, and they were still too big. The poor poor thing. I'm sure that is a real problem, but I'm sure it would still be much easier to solve than mine. I should have offered her some Oreo's. I'll bet that would have fixed her problem right there.

See what I mean about the bitterness? It is taking me over.

I know I should stop acting like a total brat and pretending that being fat is the end of the world. I know that much worse things could be happening to me right now. I really do know that. But what I also know is this: if I don't do something about it now, then I will be faced with much worse problems later down the road. My father had high cholesterol, numerous hear attacks and high blood pressure. My grandmother also had high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and a few strokes. So I don't exactly come from a genetic gold mine here people. And I know that I would like to be around for a long LONG time for Aeralyn's sake.

So, since obviously doing all this for my sake isn't working, I'm going to have to change my reasoning. I'm now doing all this for Aeralyn's sake. All so she can have a healthy mommy that will be here for years to come, and so her children can have a grandmother. Also, I want to teach her much better eating habits than what I learned growing up. I will definitely not let her sit down in front of the TV with a tube of Pringles and let her eat the whole thing. Yes, my dad let me do that. No, I'm not blamig him for all my weight issues, though, wouldn't that be so much easier now that I think of it?

Now if I don't go to the gym regularly, I will be letting Aeralyn down. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is. I hope this works.

How fun it is to be married to a hunter.

There is a dead duck in my refrigerator.

Are you jealous? I thought so.

A letter to my wisdom teeth

Dear Teeth in my mouth that are of the wise variety,

First and foremost, I would like you to know that I hate you, all four of you. Yes even you, top ones, though you have yet to cause me any pain so far. I know you're just waiting for the right moment. And by "right moment" I mean the most inopportune moment possible. I hate you with my whole enitre being, but I'd have to say that my gums probably dislike you the most.

To the right bottom one, you started this whole mess almost two years ago, and you've been leading the torturous way ever since. It wasn't enough for you to plow through my gums and break a tooth on your way in. Oh no, that was not nearly enough! Now you've got your buddy, bottom left, in on the game too. Bottom left started moving in right after I had my tooth pulled last week, and now the left side of my mouth is in such a swollen mess I can barely eat. While this fact has been fabulous for my diet, it has not been so great in general.

I can't wait to get you removed! I hope you end up in the garbage can next to some dirty old man's rotten teeth. And then you'll see that residing in my jaw wasn't so bad after all.

Sincerely,
The one you're going to miss


*This is why you haven't heard from me in several days. I have been in a pain induced fog, so I thought that might not make for good posting. As you can tell, neither does a pain medicine induced fog.

Alright, I'll tell you.

I thought I would be able to get away with just telling you that I broke a tooth, got it pulled, and that was that. But apparently, you want to know more. I've already told this story to Alicia, and since she got a good laugh out of it, I will tell you too so you all can laugh with her. Except for maybe you're not that cruel, and for that I thank you.

It's all my own stupid fault that I broke a tooth, so really, you can laugh. Maybe I'll laugh one day too, but definitely not right now. I think it is safe to say that I have learned my lesson.

Almost two years ago, my wisdom teeth started bothering me. I went in for a consultation with an oral surgeon, and he decided that I needed to get them removed. Well, I didn't exactly have the $1,000 it takes to get them removed, so I didn't get it done.

When I was about three months pregnant with Aeralyn, my right wisdom tooth started coming in full force. It broke the skin, and also smashed my teeth together and consequently, broke one of my molars. It was only a small piece, and instead of going to get it fixed, I decided I would just take really good care of it and it wouldn't get a cavity. Are you laughing at my naievity? So did the dentist.

Here I am, almost a year later, and the tooth really started killing me. I will tell you this, it was the most intense pain that I have ever felt in my life. And need I remind you that my stomach was cut wide open in order to get a nearly 8lb baby out? Alrighty then.

I made an appointment with the dentist to get it filled. I honestly thought I would be able to go in there and just get it filled and be on my merry way. As you can see, I do not have much experience with dental matters. Please stop laughing, it really isn't nice.

The dentist took one look at it and said I would need a root canal. Also, please hand over $800 up front, and just for grins, throw in your left pinky toe and your first born child. Yep, that should cover it. Or, we could just pull it for the low low cost of $93.

Here I sit, drugged, broke, and snaggle-toothed. But there is some good news! Now my wisdom tooth has room to fit, and I'm hoping that it will just come right on in and close up the gaping hole that I now have in my mouth.

Hey, let me just live in my drug induced fantasy land for now. As soon as the health insurance kicks in, I will get the wisdom teeth removed. I promise. And then, like Alicia said, Aaron can take care of me, Aeralyn, and the house.

Could you please stop laughing already?

This week so far, in numbers.

Number of times I have put Aeralyn in her crib to take a nap: 24
Number of times I have retrieved screaming Aeralyn from her crib: 24
Number of naps Aeralyn has taken in her swing: 3
Number of naps Aeralyn has taken in her crib: 0
Number of broken teeth in my mouth as of this morning: 1
Number of times I have applied Orajel to broken tooth: 167
Number of dollars it costs to have a root canal on broken tooth: 800
Number of dollars I did not have for a root canal: 800
Number of teeth I got pulled today instead of having a root canal: 1
Number of teeth I ever want to get pulled again: 0

I can't believe it's only Tuesday. I hope the rest of this week is much better than these past two days have been. I do believe it is time for another pain pill.