Remember a long LONG time ago when we all had a nice little chat about my tattoo? Like, months ago? And I kinda just left you hanging? Yeah, sorry about that one.
I've been looking for a picture of the tattoo, and I absolutely cannot find one. And then you all collectively ask: "But why don't you just take another picture for us to see?" And I scream "HECK NO INTERNET! Don't you know I just had a baby for crying out loud?!" Geez.
So no, you will not be seeing a picture of the tattoo. Not right now. But I will tell you all about it. I know, you are so excited.
In March of 2004 Aaron and I went to Ft. Lauderdale for spring break. Our friend Michelle also went with us. It was supposed to be a couple's trip with Aaron and I, Michelle and her fiance, Nick, but he ended up not being able to make it. Anyway, it was us three, Ft. Lauderdale, and the typical college spring break fever.
I had always wanted a tattoo, but I never really knew what I wanted. I didn't wat to get a tattoo just to get it. I wanted my tattoo to have a story, to mean something to me. After all, it was something I was going to have to live with for the rest of my life.
I got a butterfly tattooed on the front of my right hip. Okay, I know exactly what you're thinking, so I'm going to explain why my butterfly is different than your average "tramp stamp". Don't look at me like that, you know you were thinking it.
2003 was a rough year for me. I was in my second and third semesters of college, away from home, Aaron and I had just gotten our first apartment together, and I was working at a job that rarely allowed me weekends off to come home. You know how they always say that the first year of marriage is the hardest? Well, I'm pretty much covinced that saying is from the "old school" days of when couples didn't move in together until they got married. I think the saying should be changed to say that the first year of living together is the hardest. Hard is not even a word that begins to describe it, but I think you are getting the picture.
During that year I did alot of things I am not proud of. I look back on those months and I am so ashamed. I hurt alot of people, I lost several friends, I made too many mistakes, and I almost screwed up my life so bad that I would have doomed myself to a life of misery. I know that sounds completely dramatic, but trust me, it is the absolute truth. I know I'm being vague, but please forgive me. Only a very small handful of people know the details of what I am talking about, and frankly, I want to keep it that way. No, I was not addicted to drugs or anything like that, just to clarify.
Somewhere around January of 2004, I started to be myself again. Thank goodness because if I would have waited just a little bit longer, it would have been too late. We started making our spring break plans, and I started thinking about my tattoo. I chose to get a butterfly because it is a symbol for change. All that I went through definitely changed me as a person, and now I can look back on that time and be somewhat grateful because I am who I am today. I am a firm believer that we should have no regrets, and as hard as it is not to, I don't regret that time in my life. I'm certainly not proud of it, but I don't regret it.
Now I have a butterfly to remind me everyday of how I overcame those hardships. Do any of you have a tattoo that means something special?
I've been looking for a picture of the tattoo, and I absolutely cannot find one. And then you all collectively ask: "But why don't you just take another picture for us to see?" And I scream "HECK NO INTERNET! Don't you know I just had a baby for crying out loud?!" Geez.
So no, you will not be seeing a picture of the tattoo. Not right now. But I will tell you all about it. I know, you are so excited.
In March of 2004 Aaron and I went to Ft. Lauderdale for spring break. Our friend Michelle also went with us. It was supposed to be a couple's trip with Aaron and I, Michelle and her fiance, Nick, but he ended up not being able to make it. Anyway, it was us three, Ft. Lauderdale, and the typical college spring break fever.
I had always wanted a tattoo, but I never really knew what I wanted. I didn't wat to get a tattoo just to get it. I wanted my tattoo to have a story, to mean something to me. After all, it was something I was going to have to live with for the rest of my life.
I got a butterfly tattooed on the front of my right hip. Okay, I know exactly what you're thinking, so I'm going to explain why my butterfly is different than your average "tramp stamp". Don't look at me like that, you know you were thinking it.
2003 was a rough year for me. I was in my second and third semesters of college, away from home, Aaron and I had just gotten our first apartment together, and I was working at a job that rarely allowed me weekends off to come home. You know how they always say that the first year of marriage is the hardest? Well, I'm pretty much covinced that saying is from the "old school" days of when couples didn't move in together until they got married. I think the saying should be changed to say that the first year of living together is the hardest. Hard is not even a word that begins to describe it, but I think you are getting the picture.
During that year I did alot of things I am not proud of. I look back on those months and I am so ashamed. I hurt alot of people, I lost several friends, I made too many mistakes, and I almost screwed up my life so bad that I would have doomed myself to a life of misery. I know that sounds completely dramatic, but trust me, it is the absolute truth. I know I'm being vague, but please forgive me. Only a very small handful of people know the details of what I am talking about, and frankly, I want to keep it that way. No, I was not addicted to drugs or anything like that, just to clarify.
Somewhere around January of 2004, I started to be myself again. Thank goodness because if I would have waited just a little bit longer, it would have been too late. We started making our spring break plans, and I started thinking about my tattoo. I chose to get a butterfly because it is a symbol for change. All that I went through definitely changed me as a person, and now I can look back on that time and be somewhat grateful because I am who I am today. I am a firm believer that we should have no regrets, and as hard as it is not to, I don't regret that time in my life. I'm certainly not proud of it, but I don't regret it.
Now I have a butterfly to remind me everyday of how I overcame those hardships. Do any of you have a tattoo that means something special?
Labels: About Me
2 Comments:
wow heather that was a Great blog. i totally understand about the first year thing too.... when i got married i also moved 1200 miles away to where my hubby is from AND he was in korea!!!! it was terribly hard emotionally and took a toll on my physically.... just remember that living is making mistakes. and making mistakes is how we learn...im very glad that you overcame those days and are the heather that we all love!
~Tara
Sorry, I have no tattoos, no fun tales to tell. I'm just a big ole chicken who is terrified of needles.
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