What NOT to say to a Pregnant Woman

Since I've been pregnant, I've heard lots of comments, some of them sweet, some are down right rude. Luckily, I haven't killed anyone over any of them, and I've managed to keep somewhat of a sense of humor. That being said, for your protection and my future reference purposes, I have compiled a list of things you should never say to a pregnant woman. Or you could use this as a list of things to say to a pregnant woman if you feel like getting slapped that particular day.

1. "Wow, you look HUGE today."

2. "You know, your body is never going to be the same again."

3. "I wasn't that big when I was pregnant."

4. "Are you sure you should be eating that?"

5. "Could you make me some breakfast? I went fishing all day yesterday and my back hurts a little bit."

6. "You're just about as big around as you are tall!"

7. "I'll bet you're hot and miserable."

8. "You have that much longer to go!? You look ready to pop!" (must be said with wide eyes and jaw dropped to get the full effect.)

9. "You know, you're not a very happy pregnant lady." (most effective if said while watching a pregnant woman have an emotional breakdown)

10. "It's so funny to watch you walk."

11. "You don't have any ankles!!"

12. " You're really starting to look pregnant...in your face I mean."

13. "Don't fall over now!" (usually accompanied with evil chuckles)