*sigh* Last night was not great. I put her to bed at 7:45pm, and she was up at 8:20pm. It took Aaron and I right at an hour to get her back to sleep. When I first went in her room, I layed her back down and tried patting her back, but she was NOT having that. So I picked her up and rocked her without offering to nurse. I got her to the relaxed state and layed her down, and she started fussing so I stayed there with her and patted her back, rubbed her head, etc. This went on for about 30 minutes until I couldn't lean over the crib anymore, and as soon as I walked away she started screaming. So Aaron went in and did the same thing (except he didn't pick her up at all), and she fell asleep after about 15 minutes, but only slept for about 3 minutes. Then I went back in and she was so worked up, so I picked her up and nursed her for less than five minutes, and put her in her crib and patted her back for only a couple of minutes, then she was asleep. That was at 9:25pm, and she slept until 12:15pm.
Then, I remember looking at the clock when she woke up, but I have no recollectuion of actually going and getting her and bringing her to my room. That happens all the time. So I think what I'm going to have to do is set an alarm for a few minutes before she usually gets up so I will be up and ready when she wakes up. Then I will try to get her to sleep in her crib. We will see.
My ultimate goal is getting her weaned completely at night. I would like to have her fully weaned by October, November at the latest, but I can't start weaning during the day until she is weaned at night. I have a feeling this is not going to be an easy process...
Thank y'all for helping me out and encouraging me during this time. It really is hard, especially when I know that I've created this situation. I have found myself constantly questioning and anlayzing my parenting lately, and I'm starting to drive myself a little crazy. I was so focused on breastfeeding in the beginning with Aeralyn, even though it did not come easy for me. She was a very fussy/colicky baby, and the one and only way to get her to calm down was to nurse her. So I did that, for hours and hours on end, day and night. I was obsessed with the fact that I didn't know whether or not she was getting enough, and if she was crying, my first thought was that she might be hungry. Even if she had just nursed 20 minutes earlier, I thought maybe she didn't get enough because I had no way of knowing. It was exhausting and frustrating, but she eventually grew out of the stage where she wanted to be attatched to my breast every second of the day. But, I still kept up with the "on-demand" feeding. I never fed her on a schedule. I never looked at a clock to see what time and for how long she was nursing. And I always nursed her to sleep. So this is how all this got started. It was all me. And I get alot of criticism from people over this situation too. I constantly hear about how Aeralyn is so spoiled, or how they can't believe I don't have her on a routine. Or, "She's not sleeping through the night YET?!", or "Are you STILL breastfeeding? When are you planning on stopping that?" as if it is the worst thing in the world. So, thank you all for not criticizing me here because all I am is a first time mom with no clue what to do. I'm just trying to be a good mom. And poor Aeralyn gets to be the guinea pig.
I'm going to respond to your comments in this post because I hate actually responding in the comments since I never know if anyone checks back to see.
Jessica: Thanks for posting Dylan's schedule. It actually looks fairly similar to Aeralyn's day, excet that she doesn't take a nap that is anywhere close to that long. I think that has alot to do with why she's not sleeping at night too, so I'm working on that. I wish that I would have started putting Aeralyn to bed awake at a really young age. I wish I would have thought to do that because, honestly? That never even crossed my mind. But now, it's impossible to even let her try to cry it out because she doesn't just lay there and cry anymore. As soon as you step away from her, she is standing up at the side of the crib and trying to climb out, all the while screaming her head off. So I just don't see her going to sleep that way, you know? And I have mentioned it to her pediatrician, but I keep my mouth shut now when he asks me if she is sleeping through the night because I didn't like his advice. He told me, get ready for this now....to give her Benadryl to help her sleep through the night. Yeah. And the only reason I haven't changed pediatricians is because I LOVE everything else about him, and Aeralyn absolutely adores him, so I think I'll just live with that. And the other pediatrician in the practice is an AP (attatchment parenting) mom to the EXTREME. I consider myself AP, but not in the ways that she is. She told me not to worry about her not sleeping through the night until she was atleast 2 years old, and by the way, aren't you planning on breastfeeding her until she's in preschool? And no, I'm not exaggerating. So, unfortunately I have no good advice on the pediatrician end.
I am going to do a combination of what you did with Dylan and what the book said to do. I'm not going to pick her up unless she is majorly freaking out. I'm hoping this doesn't take too long. Thanks again for your help and encouragement.
Erica: Good to hear from you! I've missed your blogs lately. Thanks for your comment. Night nursing is definitely a habit for Aeralyn. I know she's not really hungry, she just wants the comfort of it. I have tried giving her formula before bed with a little bit of cereal in it (several months ago), but it didn't help at all. That is how I found out that the night nursing was for comfort and not hunger because I knew she was full from that bottle. She is trained to wake up and nurse. I'm like a human pacifier. And consequently, she absolutely will not take a pacifier. I try to give her one on a daily basis. Or nightly that is. Also, the last time I tried to give her a bottle, she would not take it. I had waited too long since the last time I had given her one, so she would not have it. And when I leave her for a few hours with my in-laws, she would rather just wait for me to come home than take a bottle. She will eat solid food and drink water or juice from a sippy while I'm gone, but she won't take a bottle. I've actually thought about giving her water or formula in a sippy cup when she wakes up instead of nursing her. I wonder if maybe she would realize that she's not going to get to nurse, so she'll stop waking up. What do you think? Thanks again for your comment and thoughts!
Then, I remember looking at the clock when she woke up, but I have no recollectuion of actually going and getting her and bringing her to my room. That happens all the time. So I think what I'm going to have to do is set an alarm for a few minutes before she usually gets up so I will be up and ready when she wakes up. Then I will try to get her to sleep in her crib. We will see.
My ultimate goal is getting her weaned completely at night. I would like to have her fully weaned by October, November at the latest, but I can't start weaning during the day until she is weaned at night. I have a feeling this is not going to be an easy process...
Thank y'all for helping me out and encouraging me during this time. It really is hard, especially when I know that I've created this situation. I have found myself constantly questioning and anlayzing my parenting lately, and I'm starting to drive myself a little crazy. I was so focused on breastfeeding in the beginning with Aeralyn, even though it did not come easy for me. She was a very fussy/colicky baby, and the one and only way to get her to calm down was to nurse her. So I did that, for hours and hours on end, day and night. I was obsessed with the fact that I didn't know whether or not she was getting enough, and if she was crying, my first thought was that she might be hungry. Even if she had just nursed 20 minutes earlier, I thought maybe she didn't get enough because I had no way of knowing. It was exhausting and frustrating, but she eventually grew out of the stage where she wanted to be attatched to my breast every second of the day. But, I still kept up with the "on-demand" feeding. I never fed her on a schedule. I never looked at a clock to see what time and for how long she was nursing. And I always nursed her to sleep. So this is how all this got started. It was all me. And I get alot of criticism from people over this situation too. I constantly hear about how Aeralyn is so spoiled, or how they can't believe I don't have her on a routine. Or, "She's not sleeping through the night YET?!", or "Are you STILL breastfeeding? When are you planning on stopping that?" as if it is the worst thing in the world. So, thank you all for not criticizing me here because all I am is a first time mom with no clue what to do. I'm just trying to be a good mom. And poor Aeralyn gets to be the guinea pig.
I'm going to respond to your comments in this post because I hate actually responding in the comments since I never know if anyone checks back to see.
Jessica: Thanks for posting Dylan's schedule. It actually looks fairly similar to Aeralyn's day, excet that she doesn't take a nap that is anywhere close to that long. I think that has alot to do with why she's not sleeping at night too, so I'm working on that. I wish that I would have started putting Aeralyn to bed awake at a really young age. I wish I would have thought to do that because, honestly? That never even crossed my mind. But now, it's impossible to even let her try to cry it out because she doesn't just lay there and cry anymore. As soon as you step away from her, she is standing up at the side of the crib and trying to climb out, all the while screaming her head off. So I just don't see her going to sleep that way, you know? And I have mentioned it to her pediatrician, but I keep my mouth shut now when he asks me if she is sleeping through the night because I didn't like his advice. He told me, get ready for this now....to give her Benadryl to help her sleep through the night. Yeah. And the only reason I haven't changed pediatricians is because I LOVE everything else about him, and Aeralyn absolutely adores him, so I think I'll just live with that. And the other pediatrician in the practice is an AP (attatchment parenting) mom to the EXTREME. I consider myself AP, but not in the ways that she is. She told me not to worry about her not sleeping through the night until she was atleast 2 years old, and by the way, aren't you planning on breastfeeding her until she's in preschool? And no, I'm not exaggerating. So, unfortunately I have no good advice on the pediatrician end.
I am going to do a combination of what you did with Dylan and what the book said to do. I'm not going to pick her up unless she is majorly freaking out. I'm hoping this doesn't take too long. Thanks again for your help and encouragement.
Erica: Good to hear from you! I've missed your blogs lately. Thanks for your comment. Night nursing is definitely a habit for Aeralyn. I know she's not really hungry, she just wants the comfort of it. I have tried giving her formula before bed with a little bit of cereal in it (several months ago), but it didn't help at all. That is how I found out that the night nursing was for comfort and not hunger because I knew she was full from that bottle. She is trained to wake up and nurse. I'm like a human pacifier. And consequently, she absolutely will not take a pacifier. I try to give her one on a daily basis. Or nightly that is. Also, the last time I tried to give her a bottle, she would not take it. I had waited too long since the last time I had given her one, so she would not have it. And when I leave her for a few hours with my in-laws, she would rather just wait for me to come home than take a bottle. She will eat solid food and drink water or juice from a sippy while I'm gone, but she won't take a bottle. I've actually thought about giving her water or formula in a sippy cup when she wakes up instead of nursing her. I wonder if maybe she would realize that she's not going to get to nurse, so she'll stop waking up. What do you think? Thanks again for your comment and thoughts!
6 Comments:
I'm glad that I could help in some way, even if it is a little bit. I know how frustrating it can be when they don't sleep. We were about at our wits end before we tried what we did. And, D was waking up for feedings he didn't need. But, by breaking the habit gradually over a week or week and a half, he finally got the concept that there's no reason to even attempt it.
Hang in there. The first few nights are always the hardest. They're stubborn....they'll cry and cry....but they'll eventually catch on that mom and dad aren't going to give in.
Hugs to you....I'm here if you need me... :)
Heather,
I'm sorry but I'm no expert in the sleep department! I had one horrible sleeper and two great ones...and it was just pure luck that the last two were great sleepers! Steven was horrible...similar stories to what you're sharing!
If it makes you feel better, I've heard that the babies that don't sleep are very smart little things!
First of all, you are a FANTASTIC mom. Everything you've written about so far just proves that.
I've read so much about how nursed babies refuse to take the bottle but your idea on the sippy cup? BRILLIANT. Can she use a straw? We abandoned Kira's bottle a few months ago because she was happily slurping out of a sippy bottle (it's basically a non-spill drink bottle thingy with a silicone straw - Tommee Tippee makes it) and she loves it. We have two, one for her milk and one for her water (she won't drink juice). So definitely give that a go, or the sippy cup, whichever she uses.
Kira never took a paci either. She hated them passionately. I was given lots of advice on trying to make her take it by putting little drops of honey or glycerine on it to sweeten it up but honestly I didn't want the battle of pacifier-weaning so I'm just as happy she never took to it.
Forgot to mention, is there a "soother" toy Aeralyn has to take to bed with her? Kira has a beanie plushy puppy dog which she never sleeps without and also finds solace in it, which she's had since birth.
Also, is she teething yet? It could very well be part of what's waking her up. We found that with Kira very early on (indicators are ear poking/prodding/mashing mostly) and on the really horrible days/nights we would give her panadol (a very mild liquid tylenol basically) which also kept her knocked out through the night and free of pain.
But definitely give the sippy cup a try. And if you decide to give her formula, I would suggest only replacing one feeding at this point - probably the night one?
Try not to beat yourself up though. You are doing such a wonderful job, you really, really are. And you *will* get through it. :) *hugs* (I hope I've helped some!)
Good luck!
I know weening my kids off the bottle at night was a lot easier then breast so I don't really have any advice for you, I'm sorry.
Maybe sub the breast with a little drink of water in a bottle? I don't know if that would work.
Either way, I think you're a fantastic mother so don't even think that to yourself. Hope tonight is better for you. (((HUGS)))
So, how is it going with the sleeping?
I know I'm late on this one.. but I'll try to give you a bit of my own "how in the hell should I know, Kyra's always been a great sleeper" advice.
For Kyra, schedule is KEY. I can stray from her schedule and she may not seem interruped at the time, but boy do I usually pay for it at bed time. Why this is, I have no idea.
Our daily schedule is this: 6:30-7:30 we wake up. Cuddle in my bed for a half hour or so watching the news- strictly Mommy and Kyra quiet time. 8am breakfast. (at Aeralyn's age) Nap time at 10, sleep 1-2 hours (today replaced with snack). Lunch at Noon. (once again at Aeralyn's age) Nap at 2, sleeps 2 hours (now this is her only nap of the day and is taken immediatly after clean-up from lunch is done) Snack follows directly after her nap, dinner at 5. Bath at 6:30, dress, brush teeth and hair, read a book while rocking, in bed at/around 7.
Somewhere I read or was told that while she was awake to play, play, play. Take her for a walk, to the playground, get her involved in some kind of activity (for Kyra I put her in a swim class) and this way when it is time to go to bed, she's ready for it. Out of habit, and because Kyra and the tiny age of 8 weeks started herself on a schedule, we keep this up to this day. The few months we spent down south were, all together, hell. She was off her schedule and ultimately didn't sleep for crap every night, therefore neither did I.
We've been home for 2 days now, and for two days I have immediatly thrown her back into our routine... tonight she was in her own bed by 7:30 and asleep by 8. It has been a welcomed sight for me. One I have had countless hours crying about myself.
I didn't know it was printed in a book that it was good to keep them on a schedule, and I think I would probably have been in your same shoes if it wasn't for Kyra and her instant schedule.
Best of luck! Keep it up, eventually she'll take the hint that Mommy Needs Sleep! Lol!
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